06-13-2007, 09:52 AM
Now for super dramatic emo-ness.
I dunno, it seems like everything's out of control lately. And I really don't like it. Some things that should not have even happened are happening so fast, others not fast enough... It's confusing. And I'm not normally one that get confused...My friends have sort of deserted me...Mainly I feel like one has in particular. I firmly believe that Jeshua is the indirect/direct cause of everything that's happened, and he told me that he didn't want to hear me complain about my problems because "being a therapist sucks." Not to point fingers, but everything important I say also gets leaked out somehow. Leading to further discussions, which leads eventually to my negative feelings comming to the surface. And just for people's info, they're getting harder to control. Actually, the way I dressed on monday was the result of one of my outbursts in the evening, and I actually cried myself to sleep. Still don't know why, but meh. (wait, 10 years from now i'll look back on this and go, "OMG what a friekin drama queen." >< )
Basically, if I ever wanted something like this to happen, I would have changed everything so that it didn't happen. Because this is going to end up killing me, haunting me to the very end. Probably, anyway, so the tarot cards say. And in all honesty, it really does feel like I'm drowning. Especially when you dream about drowning, etc. o-o
Everything really is unclear, and yet I know exactly what the hell's going on. 'Scuse my language, both the poor vocab and the cursing. It's hard to walk, move on, when you've forgotten how to crawl after all the sitting, waiting and watching, doing absolutely nothing.
Hahaha... Oh, I can already tell I'll come to regret this....What a wonderful week this has been...and it's only tuesday.
But, my imagination is saving me with bittersweet daydreams and such. It's very good for me, but it just makes me wish for something that will never exist. ^__^ But that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Taa.
Moony
Quote:Good morning day
Sorry I’m not there
But all my favourite friends
Vanished in the air
It’s hard to fly when you can’t even run
Once I had the world, but now I’ve got no one
I dunno, it seems like everything's out of control lately. And I really don't like it. Some things that should not have even happened are happening so fast, others not fast enough... It's confusing. And I'm not normally one that get confused...My friends have sort of deserted me...Mainly I feel like one has in particular. I firmly believe that Jeshua is the indirect/direct cause of everything that's happened, and he told me that he didn't want to hear me complain about my problems because "being a therapist sucks." Not to point fingers, but everything important I say also gets leaked out somehow. Leading to further discussions, which leads eventually to my negative feelings comming to the surface. And just for people's info, they're getting harder to control. Actually, the way I dressed on monday was the result of one of my outbursts in the evening, and I actually cried myself to sleep. Still don't know why, but meh. (wait, 10 years from now i'll look back on this and go, "OMG what a friekin drama queen." >< )
Quote:If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown….drown
Basically, if I ever wanted something like this to happen, I would have changed everything so that it didn't happen. Because this is going to end up killing me, haunting me to the very end. Probably, anyway, so the tarot cards say. And in all honesty, it really does feel like I'm drowning. Especially when you dream about drowning, etc. o-o
Quote:Good morning day
Sorry you’re not here
All those times before
We’re never this unclear
It’s hard to walk when you can’t even crawl
Once I had this world, but now I’ve lost it all
Everything really is unclear, and yet I know exactly what the hell's going on. 'Scuse my language, both the poor vocab and the cursing. It's hard to walk, move on, when you've forgotten how to crawl after all the sitting, waiting and watching, doing absolutely nothing.
Hahaha... Oh, I can already tell I'll come to regret this....What a wonderful week this has been...and it's only tuesday.
But, my imagination is saving me with bittersweet daydreams and such. It's very good for me, but it just makes me wish for something that will never exist. ^__^ But that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Taa.
Moony